Missing my other half....

5 June 1982 was a very historical day for me. At 23 years old I married my wife who just turned 20 about 6 weeks before the wedding and we were both excited and passionate about each other on our first night and the passion never died for more than 24 years in happy marriage bearing 5 children over the years. The day marked the moment I felt complete as a person having a wife to fullfil my needs as I was fulfiling her's. I enjoyed being a husband to my wife and a father to our children. We had a wonderful married life. Being married to a virtuous woman is indeed a blessing from the Almighty Allah who completes you as a human being He created in pairs, giving you peace and harmony living in this temporary world.

15 June 2006 was the fateful day I like to forget with much difficulty. It marked the beginning of my journey walking on the face of this earth feeling half of me is gone. Three years had gone by and the sadness of remembering the fateful day at times are quite overwhelming. The reality of living without the comfort of my wife hit me hard at times, making my body weak and eyes weep. Life is very different without a partner to talk to, when you once had for a long time. Sometimes I find difficulty to sleep and often kept myself busy doing something like office work, surfing the net, reading or do night prayer just to avoid the loneliness that often triggers the memory to flash the good old days and then caused me to feel sad and cry. Well, writing in my blog, like now, help me unbottle the sad feelings in loneliness, as if I was "talking" to someone (in the virtual world who have no idea who I am). I guess writing in my blog is a good outlet for me to channel out my grievances. Of course being a practising Muslim, I am very much in control of my situation. One interesting lesson I learned from reading the book by Mitch Albom title "Tuesdays with Morrie" was that in life it is okay to let yourself slide into your gloomy world of sadness in reminiscing the past as long as you are in control to pull yourself back to the world of reality and get on with your life. And that also makes you feel more human and more conscious of the existence of the Almighty Allah, knowing your limitations and weaknesses.

I suppose it is time for me to move on and start looking for my other "half" in the real world so that I can escape the misery of being in the state of loneliness that often caused me to slide into my gloomy world of sadness thinking of my previous "half" that has left this physical world of reality...May Allah guides me and cause me to make the right choices.