A slice of my life - Marriage

How times fly!. Its been more than 23 years since I got married. I'm nearing half a century old now. Looking back, I felt a sense of satisfaction having been to the road of my life. I have my ups and downs, but I must say that there is no regret of any sort for marrying a fine lady of my mother's choice who bore me 5 lovely and healthy children. We started our family at a very young age, I was 23 and my wife was 20 years old.

We came from a very diverse and different background, a totally different culture. At the beginning, communication is a challenge, English is spoken to bridge the gap, often finding difficulty to express profound thought as we travel the journey of our lives. Perhaps the most significant characteristic of our married life is our tolerance and respect for each other.

Disagreement is inevitable in a relationship, especially ours that started with many cultural differences. I can see how much my wife did in order to please me over the years tolerating my idiosyncrasies and so did I on hers.

Argument seems like a form of releasing frustration which we often had but was managable. We grew and developed the ability to smell trouble when argument got heated up. We learned to back off and create a space to cool off and soon find ourselves kissing and making up. I must admit that it could be confusing at times for the children to see us.

There are wonderful moments we shared. I remember one night we strolled along the esplanade by the seaside during our tenth wedding anniversary just the two of us talking about our lives and family and what we want for the children. Well, what do you know? We got our third child the next year. That's 10 years apart after our first one. We are really blessed now that we have 5 healthy children who are 22, 21, 12, 6 and 4 years of age.

To me marriage is a commitment. Its not just love, a feeling that comes and go. The choice of getting into marriage life is a big one. If we are to base our decision to get married purely on lovely feelings, then the marriage would probably not last. Love is also an art and it can be learned. When mastered, the act of loving will rejuvenate diminishing lovely feeling. Therefore marriage is also about being committed to learn how to love and not to marry simply by falling in love. Think about it........